How about a little satire on hallway etiquette?

Samantha Baltzell, Editor

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  It’s passing time. Four blessed minutes, granted by the school for students to fly through the halls, where the lessons we learn in elementary school about walking on the right side of the hallway in a somewhat orderly fashion have completely disappeared. That lesson was never important anyways. It’s just so much easier to run into everyone when their arms are full of school materials instead of trying to walk on the right side of the hallway.

  Now, the task of avoiding people is incredibly difficult. This entails dodging the massive groups of friends stretching from wall to wall, gliding over students sitting with their backs against lockers with their legs stretched to the other side of the hall, slightly shifting to the left to avoid couples who have themselves pressed against lockers, and turning to avoid other random children sprinting down the hallways, taking out everyone in their path. It is just so much easier to stab people with pencils or cut them with folders while walking by and not caring about what happens.

  If students were to start walking on the right side of the halls and turning to the side every once in awhile, the chaos would completely disappear, and what is high school without chaos? Not to mention, trying to access a locker with a couple pressed up against it is the easiest thing ever. Once the word “teacher” is spoken, they’ll separate like oil and water to avoid getting in trouble. The easiest things can split them apart.

  However, this is high school, and there are no manners anywhere. We all have to try and assert our dominance to avoid being trampled by the crowds. This is not a shared space, and it’s important to remember that. Push and shove students in the way, keep sprinting through the halls, show everyone who is the boss. School is a game, and you have to play your cards right in order to survive.

 

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